Yet I Will Praise You

It seems the past few days have really been an inspiriation and invitation to enter more deeply into our Lord's passion and resurrection as well as what He asks of us, His disciples.

Friday we celebrated the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross, yesterday we celebrated the memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows and in today's gospel (Mark 8:27-35) Jesus says to His followers that following Him entails a personal knowledge of him plus a giving of one's self in order to "take up your cross and follow me".

What seems to be sticking out for me is the idea of suffering as necessary, suffering as meaningful and something that reflects God. 

"God manifests Himself in the beauty of creation and in the midst of human darkness when it is assumed.  We cannot dismiss either one.  The praise of God can burst forth as much from contemplating the admirable order of creation as from the depths of human suffering.."(Matura, p.132) 

In creating this collage I was reflecting on what may seem a crazy idea to some - that God is manifested and beautiful just as much in suffering as in the beauty of the nature around us. I must admit that is hard to completely understand as the beauty of creation is something that deeply moves me and  I haven't related that to my experience with suffering before.
Fr. Andrew pointed out in his homily this morning - Jesus asks us to answer the personal question: "Who do YOU say that I AM?" and if we believe He is the Messiah, our Lord and Savior then it behooves us to "take up our cross", accept His teachings and follow Him - even if that means it will not always be fun, pretty or easy.  This goes against the prevalent hedonism of our time.

Yesterday, Fr. Wilbert spoke about Mary's suffering, her sorrows in walking with her son through His life (have you seen the 7 seven sorrows of Mary before?).  He reminded us that we do indeed know what suffering is, even if it's not to the degree of our Mother Mary or our neighbours in war-torn countries or other grave situations that our brothers and sisters face everyday, around the world.  Despite what our sufferings are, we are invited to unite them with the sufferings of our Lord and we are encouraged to not lose HOPE, like Mary never lost hope.  We will one day walk in the land of the living with our God (Psalm 116), singing praises of joy!

This past week as I faced some of my own challenges/sufferings, there was a song that kept coming to me in the back of my mind...and I finally remembered what it's called!  I included the video for you. 

 

"I will praise you Lord my God, even in my loneliness, I will praise you Lord" 

If I changed the lyrics for myself, I would add: I will praise you Lord my God, even in this time of waiting, questioning, in moments of doubting your call or not knowing anything at all, I will praise you Lord"

For yourself - how could you finish the phrase?

I end this post with quoting the last stanza of St. Francis' Canticle of the Creatures:

Praise and bless my Lord
and give Him thanks
and serve Him with great humility

Lord Jesus, as we take up our crosses everyday, may we cling to you and look for you in our daily sufferings. May we be able to praise you in any instance.

 May we, as well as our suffering brothers and sisters be consoled by your love, your grace and the Hope you inspire in our hearts.  Amen.

All in All

I recently said to someone, "I think it's time for me to just go 'all in', put my condo on the rental market NOW and trust". Originally I wanted to play it safe and keep it for as long as I needed it, but I felt a new resolve to let go of the old and be ready for the new. It goes back to my previous blog post "Ready, Set, Jump!" where I was reflecting about jumping into this new part of my journey. But is it possible to jump in just a little?? Not in this case!

What other areas in our lives could we holding something back from God? Perhaps our openness, time, talent or treasure? Perhaps our devotion, loyalty or even our true love?

What was it that held the Pharisees back from experiencing and being moved by the true presence of our Lord, even while He was physically in their midst? How could they be so hard of heart, so stuck in their ways that as we see in today's gospel (in Canada: Luke 6.6-11) - they can't even celebrate a miracle of healing that occurred right in front of them! They couldn't feel compassion for the man with a withered hand, only contempt for Jesus because He was breaking the law of "doing work" on the sabbath. It's easy to point our fingers at the Pharisees, but sometimes I think as a society, we can be just like them.

We postulants are reading and reflecting on a book together entitled: "15 Days of Prayer with Saint Francis of Assisi" by Thaddee Matura. The past couple of days we've been invited to reflect on what it means to be pure of heart. Here's what St. Francis has to say:

Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

The truly pure of heart are those that gaze from above at the earthly realities, seek heavenly ones, and never cease adoring and seeing the Lord God living and true with a pure heart and spirit (Adm 16) Matura p.92

 

A pure heart is able to look past what is superficial (toils and troubles of the world) and gaze on what is truly important- heavenly things, being thankful and adoring the Lord for all that is good. Perhaps the more our hearts are centered on his Son, the more we would be able to recognize, see and respond to His great love working around us. Perhaps it was a lack of a pure heart that the blinded the Pharisees from truly being open and receiving the grace manifested right in front of them.

What can we do to strive towards a pure heart? Readers, I hope some of you will give your input here :)

I wonder if St. Francis would like this song "You Are My All in All". Gazing on heavenly things, adoring Him, realizing that our true reality is that He is our everything all seem to be found in the lyrics.

"You are my strength when I am weak, you are the treasure I seek, You are my all in all

Seeking you as a precious jewel, Lord to give up I'd be a fool, you are my all in all"

 

Lord, as we journey closer to you each day, grant that we may have pure hearts, that we may see you as our All in All, now and forever more.

 

Peace and Blessings!!!

 

A "Clutter-full" Experience

As Jesus was commissioning the 12 disciples he said “... Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts; no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, or sandals, or walking stick. The laborer deserves his keep.’ (Matthew 10:10)

And He also said “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62)

The week prior to entering the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity as a Postluant, I prepared myself by ‘taking care’ of my office…which held many tasks such as cleaning out a very full filing cabinet, going through a crowded book case and a stack of filing that could not be ignored or simply thrown into the recycle bin (believe me, I was tempted!).  As I took on the tasks one by one I had a lot of time to reflect and time to realize how much stuff I have kept along the way and WHY I still had some of this stuff! 

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I discovered that I really didn’t need my old university papers or projects I was proud of, I don’t need the textbooks I used to learn “how to teach reading” or 20 copies of a Christmas Caroling booklet.  So, if I didn’t need them, why did I still have them?  I think some of it is pride (this paper proves I’m smart, or was), some of it is fear (what if I forget what digraphs and vowels are?) and some of it is just that nagging issue of not being able to let go very easily (I don’t want to forget that moving moment connected to that time we went caroling).

As I sifted, sorted, recycled, shredded and filed I began to feel overwhelmed (especially when I thought about all the other areas of my house that still need this attention) by the burden of material things, the burden of “stuff” but most of all the surprise of a burden of invisible things, things I didn’t realize I was hanging onto.  And I know I’m not alone in this.

For me, it’s not so much the letting go of physical things that causes me to “look back”, but the attachments associated with these things. These are good things, things that seem they should be treasured.  Memories, sentiments of care, love and kindness from loved ones, friends and students, things that are encouraging and have been life giving.  It seems like a paradox to let go of positive things.  But I think that in order for us to move on, we need to empty our vessel once in awhile so our Lord can fill it up with new love, grace and abundance (and part of the emptying is giving thanks before letting go).  

Other things to let go may be longtime grudges, resentments, deep seated anger and disappointments, these things can take up space in our vessel too…in fact, it’s the negative things that erode our vessels from the inside out.  That’s not good!

Sometimes we need a good washing out for our souls.  An examination of conscience to see what areas need cleansing is always good.   I think about the cleansing power of water, of mercy, of God’s forgiveness especially present in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  I think about water washing things away that are not needed anymore, water washing away impurity, leaving us holy and I think about how the Lord said He would cast our sins into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19).  As we are emptied, I think we can find, like I did in the feelings after cleaning out my office, that in emptiness there can be fullness…

There is something about St. Francis and his vision of Lady Poverty that intrigues me and that I don’t quite understand yet…but I do like this quote: “From his sojourn in the cave, he now knew that this lady was symbolic of the poor Christ, of chastity, of valor and courage, of chivalry and virtue and everything spiritual and fine.  But most of all she was Lady Poverty.  To serve her was all his desire.  Lady Poverty! To serve her was to be rich beyond imagining.  Lady Poverty was THE symbol of the paradoxes of the Gospel: richness in poverty, life in death, strength in weakness, beauty in the sordid and shabby, peace in conflict and in temptation, fullness in emptiness and, above all, love in detachment and deprivation”. (Francis: The Journey and The Dream. Murray Bodo p.11)

Love in detachment and deprivation, richness in poverty.  This cleaning out of my office clearly paralleled for me the cleaning out of one’s soul.  Detaching, deprivation, poverty in spirit, in relationships or in things that give us a sense of security could seem negative – but in the right context, they are beautiful.  It’s necessary to let go, relinquish, surrender, detach all those things that, no matter how good, could at some point become ‘clutter’ and keep us from our true focus, our Lord Jesus Christ.  And if we are to truly ‘take up our cross and follow Him’ I suppose following his footsteps of sacrifice is also something to be embraced and not feared/avoided.

Check out this article to see a picture and read a bit about the Sisters and Postulants I am journeying with:  http://www.fscc-calledtobe.org/living/index.php?p=12289