REAL Beauty's on the inside...true or false?

Do you truly believe that? I thought I did. I thought I taught it to my students...but judging by what I've been thinking lately every time I pass a mirror...I think that a part of me does not believe that.

Okay, so you're probably wondering "Chelsea, what on earth are you talking about?!” Well, one of the changes during this time of Postulancy is to completely dial down the use of 'make-up'. Now, no one actually came out and told me this was a rule, but you look around and see that really, it is not needed and if you don't want to stick out amongst all the sisters...you shouldn't wear it ;) And I don't know about you, but when I'm new somewhere, I tend to want to blend in and not draw TOO much attention to myself...;)

But seriously, if I find myself not happy with what I see in the mirror, and I don't mean just 'not happy', but genuinely disappointed or sad about it - what is that telling me? It's telling me that somewhere inside I hold a belief and have accepted messages that whatever I've been doing all these years in terms of getting ready to "go out" and "be presentable" in order to "be professional" or be taken seriously etc, has not only happened unconsciously but has affected my self image. It's interesting to think about what those messages are and where do they come from. And I know I'm not alone in this. It's an adjustment, it's being able to see the natural beauty God gave me without any human (especially MEDIA and peer) interference.

I’ve been thinking about all of this for a few weeks (as my friends will attest to!) but yesterday it all became clearer for me – you’ll notice in the collage a mixture of which includes pictures of me “performing”.  I had the opportunity to lead some music in a Year of Faith Gospel Reflection/Prayer service yesterday and it was the first time for me as a Postulant.  My usual ‘ritual’ before any kind of performance had to change as my appearance did not need as much attention.  It sure was something, being up there, as me  - no make up, etc and did it affect my usual performance?  No, of course not, because it is the Holy Spirit who works with me in those situations and helps bring out what is needed…any beauty that is experienced has absolutely nothing to do with how I look.   I am so thankful for that experience and I’m sure as the weeks go by, I’ll feel less and less disappointed about my ‘new look’ and more at peace with the true self within.   I’m still the same Chelsea, no matter how I look, as represented in the collage.

I've been reading about contemplation in several places and it seems to me that the idea is to place one's self before God ‘as you are’ and to allow masks, identities etc to fall away and to be naked… like when you came into this world (and as we will leave it). When we are in this state before the Lord, we are much more receptive to HIM, much more able to adore and praise Him, to contemplate Him and reflect Him.   This ties in with our Year of Faith – being more receptive to what we believe and encountering God’s love…and of course, SHARING it, and allowing that love to overflow to others.

I’d like to end this entry with a challenge – perhaps you could think about what makes you feel beautiful (yes guys, you too!), it’s something worth pondering. 

May you discover God’s deep and abounding love for you – as you are, no more and no less J