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Sunday, July 7, 2013

Sometimes, it all has to go





"Blue Bell", The family boat,  an all wood 1960's model that my Grandpa had custom built had to be torn apart. The boat was a catalyst for the many fond memories of summer boat rides, water skiing, lots of fishing not only for my siblings and cousins, but first for my dad and his siblings.  It was a difficult for the family to see Dad taking the boat apart, but we understood it was necessary.

As I helped remove screws so Dad could use the saw to tear the boat into manageable pieces (to take to the dump) I reflected on how so often in life, we have to let go.  We even have to participate in the difficult process of doing so (there's no magic wand we wave and "poof", we've let go).  Sometimes the demolition and letting go is a choice that we get to make and at other times, like so many in Calgary, High River and other places in southern AB have found out - it's not a choice at all - it can feel quite imposed on us.

It has been quite awhile since I've posted something new here on Mirrorly aMusing. - I've started and stopped a few times but frankly, since I arrived home in December, the waves of "creativity" really haven't swept me away like they used to.   But I'm back writing and I'm back with the topic that I think will always be a source of reflection for me and for all of us today: letting go.

The flooding disaster here has really been cause for many to stop and re-evaluate what is truly valuable and  precious in our lives.  It is so disheartening and stressful to experience such loss. What has been amazing though is that in the face of this loss came the sunshine of neighborly concern and self-sacrifice to help others meet their needs. All of a sudden the common mentality of "me" went to "we", even those who could not physically or financially help with flood relief/cleanup felt connected to the community and kept all those involved in their thoughts, prayers and conversations with others.

When we lose something, there is an opening for something new. Through the pain, comes newness of life.  I saw this picture our mayor tweeted a little while ago:

 

Do we ever considered God and our relationship with Him as one of those precious things in our lives that remains, even in tragedy?  Often times what happens to us in the physical realm can often be paralleled in the spiritual.  Just like in our houses, sometimes we collect a lot of "stuff" - necessary and unnecessary, sentimental and unsentimental.  We do this within ourselves too - our tendency towards selfishness, dwelling on satisfying our desires, our dreams and goals - sometimes these things get in the way of "newness of life".  At times we may be fortunate to see within ourselves what needs to be removed so that the light of Christ can shine brighter through us but other times, like a flood or any sudden event, whatever it was that we were clinging to (consciously or not) is swept away from us and we are left with a hole in our hearts.

What do we do with that hole? The emptiness that appears after a break-up, death of a family member, a traumatic change in life, major disappointments?  Are we left marveling at the precious things that still remain - God's everlasting goodness, our ability to breathe, love, feel the warmth of the sun or are we caught up in desperately trying to fill that hole?  Do we have hope that as we stand vulnerable, with seemingly nothing left - that we are held?  That God will look after us in our time of need and promises to never leave our side? 

Faith is so important here.  Pope Francis just came out with his first encyclical letter on faith and light: Lumen Fidei.

“Believing means entrusting oneself to a merciful love which always accepts and pardons, which sustains and directs our lives, and which shows its power by its ability to make straight the crooked lines of our history” (Lumen Fidei 13).

I love that phrase – make straight the crooked lines of our history. Sometimes I feel like we go through life drawing with a big wax crayon with the astuteness of a three-year-old.  But the Lord comes with His offer of peace, love, protection and a plan for a future with Him beyond our wildest dreams.  He makes our portraits beautiful, even the holes or tears that appear in our canvas because we were coloring or erasing way too hard.

As I continue on this journey of discernment, discerning how I was built and how I fit in God’s mission for the world I am thankful for the times in my life where everything seems like it’s been taken apart (like the boat).  Sometimes we need to be taken apart, toss away what doesn’t matter, keep what is precious and sacred and wait to see how the Lord to put us back together, and He will indeed put us back together, He loves us too much not to!  Because of Jesus, with death comes life and despite our cracks and flaws, He is able to make of us very fine living stones for His Kingdom.

Yet it is precisely in contemplating Jesus’ death that faith grows stronger and receives a dazzling light; then it is revealed as faith in Christ’s steadfast love for us, a love capable of embracing death to bring us salvation. This love, which did not recoil before death in order to show its depth, is something I can believe in; Christ’s total self-gift overcomes every suspicion and enables me to entrust myself to him completely” (Lumen Fidei 16).

2 comments:

  1. You make such a good point, Chelsea, about the importance of thoughts and prayers to overcome the boundaries that separate us from each other. Physical help is very important--we are physical beings, but how often do people crave someone just to listen, to offer prayers, or to talk to about their faith. This kind of support is just as important in establishing the value of human beings over material possessions, a value so well summed up by the sign that says "We lost some stuff. We gained a community."

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  2. Wonderful post, Chelsea!

    Letting go is something I struggle with too. Each year, I hope that I'm improving, even if just a bit. Usually, when I do my annual "Purge and Merge" I look to see if there's anything that I no longer need that could go to someone who could use it.

    That is especially true this year, in light of the flooding. The river of emotions have run high since I first saw the footage of my hometown - High River - mostly submerged. Fear, worry and desperation when I couldn't get a hold of my parents during the mandatory evacuation. Helplessness when we had no clue what state my childhood home was in. I clung to that sliver of hope that everything would be OK. That things would work out (We were lucky).

    Then later, I felt anger and frustration over how some things were handled. You name it, I felt it.

    All of that must be purged by simply letting go. What is left? As the sign says, "a community" - the community with form with our family and friends, neighbours and fellow citizens. The community we share as a member of God's family. These are ties that no flood, earthquake or tsunami can ever wash away.

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