My Life is a Construction Site!

“Come Holy Ghost, Creator Blest,
And in our hearts take up Thy rest;
Come with Thy grace and heav'nly aid
To fill the hearts which Thou hast made,
To fill the hearts which Thou hast made”

http://www.ameshymn.org/ht0110_.htm

This weekend Fr. Andrew mentioned how the Holy Spirit transforms and renews.  This got me thinking back to a metaphor that’s been with me the past few weeks: my heart/life is a construction site right now.  And who knows, maybe it always will be until I am ready to face my maker, when my journey and all that I’ve been meant to build/accomplish has been complete.

Of course, this metaphor is not meant to be taken literally; I don’t have a bulldozer on my back or a crane hanging from my head. What’s really changing is more abstract….like changes in attachments, relationships, ideas, expectations, desires.  I feel like it’s been an excavation phase, lots of moving and adjusting things around, lots of replanting things I want to keep but in a different location or hoeing up weeds and tossing them out all together, lots of surveying and seeing where things really stand.  Although sometimes painful, this is a season of transformation, and I have faith that the Holy Spirit is very much involved.  And, even though things were pretty beautiful before, I have to have faith that I'm going though all of this for something that is renewed and even more wondrous (although in my human limitedness I don't understand 'how' or all the possibilities of 'what').

Someone pointed out to me that it’s important to remember that this construction and chaos has a beautiful end in sight, something new and wondrous.  I was relieved as it made me realize that the noise of swirling of emotions, the confusion, replanting and letting go etc will not last forever and that perhaps, there’s something very good to look forward to.  What, I don’t know exactly.  I do know that if it’s something God has cooked up, it will be good.  But I have to trust.  I have to allow Him to transform and renew me. 

Come Holy Spirit, transform our hearts and beings so that may we be a source of love, joy, faithfulness, peace, gentleness and kindness to those whom we meet.
Amen.



 Taken from: http://kezi.wordpress.com/poetries-potpourri-of-favorites/fruit-of-the-spirit/

Act of Consecration to the Holy Spirit

O Holy Spirit,
Divine Spirit of light and love,
I consecrate to Thee my understanding,
heart, and will,
my whole being for time and eternity.
May my understanding be always submissive
to Thy heavenly inspirations,
and to the teaching of the Catholic Church,
of which Thou are the infallible guide;
may my heart be ever inflamed
with love of God and of my neighbor;
may my will
be ever conformed to the divine will;
and may my whole life
be a faithful imitation of the life
and virtues of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
to whom with the Father and Thee
be honour and glory forever. Amen.

What to Expect When You're Expecting

Sometimes you don't even realize you're expecting something until something happens and you're hit hard with painful disappointment.

This can be found in our life experiences of expecting certain treatment from certain people or even expectations of an experience or organization.  Or perhaps you had expectations for your life that didn't work out the way you wanted.

What do you do when you're unexpectedly disappointed??

Turning to Christ and keeping your hands open is what popped into my mind.  Sometimes when we're hurt, disappointed and angry we want to close ourselves off and yank our hands away so we can't recieve anymore. Or sometimes we think - well, if I have no expectations then I'll never get hurt!  Jesus is the one you can count on.  Even though our prayers may be answered differently than we wanted/expected, we can trust Him 100% that everything is working towards the good of those who love Him.  We can trust that He sees and knows the bigger picture intimately, and that He knows best.

On this Feast of the Ascension, I wonder if some of Jesus' followers were unexpectedly disappointed.  It took some of them a long time to believe that Christ had risen from the dead and once they did, they were so overjoyed to be with Him again!  I wonder if they were partly sad that He was going to the Father and leaving them in a physical way.  Even so, no matter how they felt, they took seriously the mission of spreading the Good News and went forth in joy. 

How can we do this in our own lives?  For me today I am reminded to stay open to what the Lord is offering, even if I'm angry, hurt and disappointed in a friend I love.  Even if part of me struggles with this new path my life is taking and with the process of letting go of things in order for it to happen.  I can look to our Ascended Christ and know that He is preparing a special place for us and that this is not the end.  And until then I will keep looking for ways to love and serve as He asks.  One of my favorite quotes is this:

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, in all manner of things, all shall be well"

~ Julian of Norwich

Lord Jesus, you remain with us until the end of time.  Please help us to feel your loving presense in a special way today.  Help us to trust you and be open to see and recieve your grace in our lives. May we have the strength to go forth and lovingly serve, even in our brokenness.  We love you.

Amen

A picture taken at Elbow Falls May 2012 on the occasion of Sisters Mary Ann and Julie Ann visiting me!  What a blessed visit we had with my family and friends.  Thank you Lord!

If all the raindrops were lemon drops and...mercy drops?

What touches me about this song is the idea that sometimes the things that we perceive as "not working" or challenges in our lives are exactly what seems to help us grow and experience God's blessings and presence in a more profound way.

I like the lyric about how God loves us too much to give us lesser things...something to think about. Sometimes we think we really want something...but we’re really wanting something that's of way lesser quality than we deserve. We can't see the bigger picture. Have you heard of that story of the guy who went on a cruise and only ate the cheese and crackers he brought along with him (to save money) only to find out at the end of the cruise that the buffets and all-day snack bars that were open 24-7....were free with his ticket??

The Lord has so much to give us, we just have to be open to receive it...and that means opening our mind and not thinking that we've got it all figured out (like the cheese and cracker guy) and worse, limiting God and His possibilities (ex: God already did this and this for me...surely He's done). Perhaps we need to allow Him to change us so that His grace can affect us even more and so we can live, move and have our being in closer union with Him.

I read a quote today from "Cistercian Monastic Life/Vows: A Vision" by Jean-Marie Howe.

"Our being, our substance, must be porous in order for the Mystery to enter, to penetrate. That is the crux of the matter. It is not enough simply to be immersed in life. We must let ourselves be plowed so that the furrows of our person become deeper and deeper, so that our earth becomes softer and softer. This is something that our being craves, but this plowing is kenosis (emptying, the death which must precede new life, rebirth) and kenosis is not easy. In the measure that our being becomes porous, open, grace can penetrate us. Depth is possible. Transformation is possible. Thus an ever deepening penetration by the Mystery can fill us with spiritual being" (p.367)

Death leads to New Life, definitely something we've been celebrating a lot during this Easter season.  When have you experienced or seen  kenosis in your life?  Perhaps this was a time when your "blessings were like raindrops, mercies in disguise".

Peace!