You Are With Me

"Pain and sorrow cloud my sight right now, yet my heart feels still in the storm

I will wait on the Lord, who I'll praise everyday, my saviour and my God"

Lyrics from You Are With Me, a song I wrote during a time when a family member was undergoing chemo treatment.  These words are adapted from Psalms 3 and 42.  You can get this song on my new album - Love is Here.

I find myself needing to take on this mantra of waiting and trusting in God - even when it's not easy to be happy or see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes we have to choose to be positive, choose to have faith and blindly have hope. When we do that, God meets us where we are at and takes us forward.  Have you ever heard someone say they regretted being positive when things were grim or having faith in moments of doubt??

In difficult moments, we can have a storm of anxiety, depression or unfortunate circumstances all around us - but what keeps us still in the storm?  For me, it's knowledge of great truth, truth that never changes from age to age.  Here are a few truths I remind myself of:

We are made in the image and likeness of God, we are God's beloved children and He never leaves our side - our emotions and circumstances don't ever change that.

All things work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Jesus told us many times to not be anxious or afraid.  

John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” 

Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 

Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. 

Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Those of you who experience symptoms of anxiety know that sometimes just reading these scriptures or repeating them to ourselves in moments of distress don't always magically make the anxiety go away.  But it's important to make it a habit of reading and praying with these scriptures and allowing them to live in your heart - so that you have access to them when you need them.  They DO have an impact. God's truth and peace will guard your heart and mind. You will get through and you're not alone.

One last thought of encouragement, something that has been helping me recently:

14 And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him. (1 John 5: 14-15)

God loves us and wants to answer our prayers, He can only answer prayers that are in alignment with His Holy Will, what is good and perfect.  Sometimes the answer is "yes", it's just we have to wait.  Sometimes the answer is ..."I hear you, but no - because I have something even better in mind that's in your best interest".  In a culture of immediate gratification, we have to remind ourselves that God works in His own ways and time...He's got our back!  Let's trust in Him.

Jesus, help us trust in your providence, love and care.  Help us to feel still in the storms around us.  Help us lead others to your light.  Amen.

Love is Here

I'm excited to announce the release of my third album - Love is Here!  Check it out!!!
https://chelseamarshall.hearnow.com 

This album is a collection of songs I have written since my last album came out in 2015.  I've had the pleasure to collaborate with my brother Daniel, friends 'old and new' (Kenny, Aimee, Don!) and to incorporate young student voices (my most favourite sound in the world!).

Love is Here has 9 songs of different styles and tempos but all centered around themes of faith, trust and connection. "Follow Me" is a song highlighting how we may get lost at times on the journey but God speaks to us simply yet profoundly; "Love is Here" reminds us to be in the present moment, "A Dream for You" is written for the next generation; "You Are With Me" was written for those who are facing suffering and serious illness and "You're the Reason" is dedicated to students from a teacher perspective.  Songs you will hear children featured in are: "I Am the Bread of Life", a cover written by Steve Agrisano and Tom Booth; "I'll Be a Light for You" highlighting the vocational journey of teachers and leaders in education and "Search and You Will Find" - a song written to inspire young people to seek God and look for His presence all around us. The album ends with "You Have a Place" first composed in 2004 when many friends in university were beginning to part ways, but it is just as relevant today as the people in our lives are always growing and changing (right, Sister Serena?!). It's a reminder of how those we truly love always remain in our hearts.

"...God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them" 1 John 4:16

A HUGE shout out to Kenny Murdoch who is the multi-talented, faith-filled musician that adds his guitar and percussion to my music as well as takes charge with the recording and production of the album. It's a pleasure working and creating with him - we've worked on 3 album projects over 9 years! Thank you SO much Kenny and I know you would join me in saying - to God be all the glory!  Love is here, love is now!

Sometimes, it all has to go

"Blue Bell", The family boat,  an all wood 1960's model that my Grandpa had custom built had to be torn apart. The boat was a catalyst for the many fond memories of summer boat rides, water skiing, lots of fishing not only for my siblings and cousins, but first for my dad and his siblings.  It was a difficult for the family to see Dad taking the boat apart, but we understood it was necessary.

As I helped remove screws so Dad could use the saw to tear the boat into manageable pieces (to take to the dump) I reflected on how so often in life, we have to let go.  We even have to participate in the difficult process of doing so (there's no magic wand we wave and "poof", we've let go).  Sometimes the demolition and letting go is a choice that we get to make and at other times, like so many in Calgary, High River and other places in southern AB have found out - it's not a choice at all - it can feel quite imposed on us.

It has been quite awhile since I've posted something new here on Mirrorly aMusing. - I've started and stopped a few times but frankly, since I arrived home in December, the waves of "creativity" really haven't swept me away like they used to.   But I'm back writing and I'm back with the topic that I think will always be a source of reflection for me and for all of us today: letting go.

The flooding disaster here has really been cause for many to stop and re-evaluate what is truly valuable and  precious in our lives.  It is so disheartening and stressful to experience such loss. What has been amazing though is that in the face of this loss came the sunshine of neighborly concern and self-sacrifice to help others meet their needs. All of a sudden the common mentality of "me" went to "we", even those who could not physically or financially help with flood relief/cleanup felt connected to the community and kept all those involved in their thoughts, prayers and conversations with others.

When we lose something, there is an opening for something new. Through the pain, comes newness of life.  I saw this picture our mayor tweeted a little while ago:

 

Do we ever considered God and our relationship with Him as one of those precious things in our lives that remains, even in tragedy?  Often times what happens to us in the physical realm can often be paralleled in the spiritual.  Just like in our houses, sometimes we collect a lot of "stuff" - necessary and unnecessary, sentimental and unsentimental.  We do this within ourselves too - our tendency towards selfishness, dwelling on satisfying our desires, our dreams and goals - sometimes these things get in the way of "newness of life".  At times we may be fortunate to see within ourselves what needs to be removed so that the light of Christ can shine brighter through us but other times, like a flood or any sudden event, whatever it was that we were clinging to (consciously or not) is swept away from us and we are left with a hole in our hearts.

What do we do with that hole? The emptiness that appears after a break-up, death of a family member, a traumatic change in life, major disappointments?  Are we left marveling at the precious things that still remain - God's everlasting goodness, our ability to breathe, love, feel the warmth of the sun or are we caught up in desperately trying to fill that hole?  Do we have hope that as we stand vulnerable, with seemingly nothing left - that we are held?  That God will look after us in our time of need and promises to never leave our side? 

Faith is so important here.  Pope Francis just came out with his first encyclical letter on faith and light: Lumen Fidei.

“Believing means entrusting oneself to a merciful love which always accepts and pardons, which sustains and directs our lives, and which shows its power by its ability to make straight the crooked lines of our history” (Lumen Fidei 13).

I love that phrase – make straight the crooked lines of our history. Sometimes I feel like we go through life drawing with a big wax crayon with the astuteness of a three-year-old.  But the Lord comes with His offer of peace, love, protection and a plan for a future with Him beyond our wildest dreams.  He makes our portraits beautiful, even the holes or tears that appear in our canvas because we were coloring or erasing way too hard.

As I continue on this journey of discernment, discerning how I was built and how I fit in God’s mission for the world I am thankful for the times in my life where everything seems like it’s been taken apart (like the boat).  Sometimes we need to be taken apart, toss away what doesn’t matter, keep what is precious and sacred and wait to see how the Lord to put us back together, and He will indeed put us back together, He loves us too much not to!  Because of Jesus, with death comes life and despite our cracks and flaws, He is able to make of us very fine living stones for His Kingdom.

Yet it is precisely in contemplating Jesus’ death that faith grows stronger and receives a dazzling light; then it is revealed as faith in Christ’s steadfast love for us, a love capable of embracing death to bring us salvation. This love, which did not recoil before death in order to show its depth, is something I can believe in; Christ’s total self-gift overcomes every suspicion and enables me to entrust myself to him completely” (Lumen Fidei 16).

My HOPE is in the Lord

"Blessed are you who believed
that what was spoken to you by the Lord
would be fulfilled." Luke 1:45

 

Mary is blessed because she believed that the Lord would come through with His promises to her, to His people.  I think back to the story of Zechariah, who also had an angel appear to him with a special message from God.  His response was a little more doubtful than Mary’s and thus the Angel struck him mute to teach Zechariah (and generations to come) an important lesson.  Even though Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth were very devout and faithful Jews, I wonder if there was something missing in Zechariah’s heart that caused him to doubt the fulfillment of the Angels’ words?  What did Mary have that he didn’t?

Could it be true fulfillment of true hope in his heart?  Is it possible he could have lost it along the way in all those years of praying and yearning for a child with his wife Elizabeth?

 

“The virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man; it takes up the hopes that inspire men's activities and purifies them so as to order them to the Kingdom of heaven; it keeps man from discouragement; it sustains him during times of abandonment; it opens up his heart in expectation of eternal beatitude. Buoyed up by hope, he is preserved from selfishness and led to the happiness that flows from charity”. (Catechism 1818)

“Hope, O my soul, hope. You know neither the day nor the hour.

Watch carefully, for everything passes quickly, even though your

impatience makes doubtful what is certain, and turns a very short

time into a long one. Dream that the more you struggle, the more

you prove the love that you bear your God, and the more you will rejoice

one day with your Beloved, in a happiness and rapture that can never end. “(95 St. Teresa of Avila, Excl.

15:3)

Have you ever lost hope in something?  Or because of a negative attitude or fears, been “doubtful of what is certain”?  

We can therefore hope in the glory of heaven promised by God to those who love Him and do His will. In every circumstance, each one of us should hope, with the grace of God, to persevere "to the end" and to obtain the joy of heaven, as God's eternal reward for the good works accomplished with the grace of Christ. In hope, the Church prays for "all men to be saved." She longs to be united with Christ, her Bridegroom, in the glory of heaven (Catechism 1821)

As I mentioned in my previous blog, although we sometimes can’t name it – we long to obtain the joy of heaven and to be united with Christ.  For me this Advent season has felt long, but has held some good lessons on Hope.  It is my prayer that none of us ever lose hope, in God and His dreams for our salvation, but also in our own dreams.  What do you want, what do you dream of?  Do you believe God will bring it to you, that He will provide for you in the way that’s absolutely best for you?

We don’t know the hour the answer to our prayers will arrive. As we wait for Christmas and ultimately the Second Coming – we wait hopefully and we lovingly listen in faith.

 

Wait for the Lord, His day is near
Wait for the Lord, be STRONG, take HEART!! (Taize)

 

May these final days of Advent bring you an ever-deepening sense of HOPE in your heart! Peace and Blessings to all of you!

 

 

 

Come, Lord Jesus

"What do you WANT?"  These were the opening words of Jean Vanier's (Founder of L'Arche International) address to a gathering of youth, young adults and members of several L'Arche communites in Prince George, BC in 2004.  I remember being deeply impacted by this, not only because it is a surprising way to greet a crowd of people full of excitement and anticiatpion but because even before these words were said - you could feel an intense holy presense emanate from the man as he entered the gymnasium.  And when you feel a presence like that, something in you perks up and LISTENS.

Now we are in the season of Advent, a season of waiting.  Waiting for what?  Waiting for what we want. And I'm not talking about the latest iPad or new VW.  What is it in the depths our hearts, the common vision we all share, no matter where on earth we dwell or our beliefs/disbeliefs?  We wait for Christ, a deeper revelation of His Incarnation in our lives: yesterday, today and in the future.  We wait for the fulfillment of His Kingdom, for justice to be meted out, for peace, harmony and a deep sense of freedom.  We wait for belonging, and a sense of being loved and of being free to deeply love others, even strangers. Some of us may go through life with never having the words for these desires. Some may not know this possibility exists or may not choose to travel within themselves to discover the existence of these desires.  There is a myriad of beautiful ways to do this but I won't explore them in this post.  I do want to say that the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity, in their formation program have provided me and many other young women an immersion in an environment where we can really be in touch with our hearts and find in ourselves the treasure within our souls - Jesus Christ.  And with this knowledge, it is only natural for any person who encounters Christ and His goodness to want to pass it on :) Goodness is diffussive of itself ;)  Praise the Lord for His goodness!

Ron Rolheiser speaks of the "Theology of Longing and Desire" in an article I read recently, and I just want to share some of the images that touched me (some are scriptural).  And may I suggest that you  read these slowly and allow them to speak to you: "luxuriate in embrace", "all-embracing union", "consummation", "the lamb lying with the lion", "the valleys being filled in", "the mountains made low".  I love when he says "In our longing we INTUIT the Kingdom and EXPERIENCE Advent"

So Jean Vanier's question to us back in 2004 was and still is completely relevant today.  I remember that he reminded us that God speaks to us in our desires, our deep desires.  Advent is not just a season of waiting, but of hope.  What do you desire?  What are you hopeful for?  He wants you to discover, talk to Him about it and lead you closer to Him in the process.

Blessings during this Advent season and may He find us ready to recieve Him, and may we look forward to that "all-embracing" union with our Loving God.

7 Quick Takes Friday: Postulant Be-Attitudes

7 Quick Takes Friday: Postulant BE-Attitudes

Being a Postulant in the community of Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity in Manitowoc, WI has much to teach a young woman.  We postulants have joined the community in discernment of Religious life.  It is the first step to becoming a Sister.  Is this the path the Lord is calling us to?  Is this the community we’re called to be a part of?  Here are 7 Quick Takes from a Postulants’ point of view, some BE-Attitudes that perhaps can benefit all of us in our daily lives. J

1.    Be Prayerful

·       Daily prayer both in common (Liturgy of the Hours and Mass) and in private are essential to keep the lines of communication open with the Lord. Prayer (however much you can fit into your day) helps our hearts, minds and spirits be one with God and His Will.  He loves us so much and will never be exhausted by all we have to say or ask for…but don’t forget to let him give his 2cents too!  It’s also good to note that silence before the Lord is fruitful prayer too!

2.  Be Prepared/Punctual

·      Be ready, be on time!  There’s lots of places to be and places to meet people – the chapel, cafeteria, road trips, class at the college etc.  We all have so much to juggle in our lives and it makes things run much smoother for everyone if we’re on time and ready to go. J

3.  Be Pliable

·      God is the potter, we are the clay.  If we let ourselves be molded by Him, then we will reflect His beautiful design for our lives.  Sometimes we need to let go of things or change our habits so that we’re more open to how Jesus wants it…and remember all of this change is for the good of not only ourselves, but for all J  We all have room to grow, to be molded into the holy children of God we were made to be.

4.  Be Persevering/Patient

·      Change is not easy, engaging in activities we normally wouldn’t (like singing, sewing or card playing) and letting go of things (like our old ways of doing things) is not always easy.  It’s important to be patient with ourselves as we walk this road of faith. Sometimes we’re called to let go of habits, addictions, negative attitudes etc and we need to give ourselves time to adjust and not give up.  He is always with us, we have excellent help. J

5.  Be a Protagonist

·      One Easter Sunday my pastor at the time said: “Jesus Christ Is Risen, PASS IT ON!”  As Baptised Christians, we are ALL called to spread the Good News, to be Protagonists for the Faith so that all may come to know our Lord Jesus Christ.  The best way to do this is through EXAMPLE, how we lead our lives and how we treat those around us.  We need to be credible witnesses to the Glory of God, we need to show that we are LOVING, GIVING and JOYFUL people.

6. Be Positive

·      Look on the bright side!  Being positive and optimistic is important and on an even deeper level we need to remember that we are people of HOPE, not despair.  We are people of JOY. We also have the gifts of Faith and of course Charity to hold us up, no matter what life may bring us. 

7.  Be Playful

·      Jesus said we have to be like little children – child-LIKE not child-ISH. ;) Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously but we postulants can tell you the value of being playful.  Laughter is the best medicine and even builds community.  We enjoy a good “punny” joke here and there and we love to laugh during dinner, during recreation time, walking to class, while at Walmart…you get the picture.  If you don’t have someone to share a joke with, look for something funny online – pets are a great source of playfulness and induce laughter.

 

 

Lest We Forget

         This weekend's gospel (Mark 12:38-44) speaks of the woman who was praised by Jesus because she gave to the treasury at the temple from her poverty (2 small coins that didn't amount to much), something of much greater value compared to others who gave only a little from their excess.  As we celebrate Remembrance Day (or Veteran's Day for my American friends)- we take a moment to acknowledge and honor all those who gave or have risked all they had, even down to their last breath for our freedom, for our protection and to give us a chance to live a happy life.  We acknowledge the sacrfices they (and their families) have made and we promise never to forget them.  Below is a musical setting of the famous poem "In Flanders Fields" that I love to do with my students in choir.

 

I have always found Remembrance Day services deeply moving.  We are so inspired when we hear stories of heros, risking their lives for the good of others.  St. Maximillan Kolbe, St. Gianna Molla, St. Isaac Jogues (and companions) and St. Edith Stein all come to my mind first but there are many many more throughout history.  Their stories are remarkable, ones of great love poured out for others, all of which should point us to the greatest model of martyrdom throughout all time - Jesus Christ.

 

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends - John 15:13

 

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep - John 10:11

 

"For by one offering he has made perfect forever those who are being consecrated" - Hebrews 10:14

 

Lord Jesus, as we celebrate and honor the selfless sacrifices made by our soldiers past and present, may they always point us to you, your Passion and Resurrection. May we know your love and your promise of salvation and eternal happiness for ALL God's children. Amen!

 

 

They shall grow not old

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

 

From Laurence Binyon's poem For the Fallen, written in September 1914